Tom Green & Eggs... no Ham

Friday was wet and wild! Erin, Tiff, Wayne and I went down to the Elixir to see Tom Green. It turned out to be one of the best times in a long time at a bar. Firstly, Wayne was pumped from the get go. He's a big Tom Green fan and knows his old stuff from when he had a rap band named Organized Rhyme. I had never herd of Organized Rhyme, but I do know that one song "Check the O.R." (the link has the lyrics and a link to the mp3). So they did a bunch of funny rap stuff and the crowd was nuts. They they proceded to cook some eggs. Yes...you read that right...cooking eggs on stage. Then the chanting started "What do you do when someone gives you a plate?" ... and the crowd replied in unison: "You eat the f*cking eggs!" Wow.... is this a cult? How did they know that? I don't have all the answers...but it was quite funny. Tom crowd surfed twice. I copped a feel both times. Pretty cool. They did other pre-pubescent things like throwing stuffed animals *AT* the crowd .... and spraying whipped cream in a can on people's heads. At one point Wayne got on the stage and was doing this ultra-silly dance that supposedly comes from the old Organized Rhyme days. It was hilarious how badly Tiff was embarassed by this HAHAHA! The crowd loved it!!!

So half way through the show we had "to do something that's never been done in the history of Hip-Hop." We had to sit on the floor cross-legged for 5 minutes and listen to whale music. I'm serious... whale music. And the entire bar did it... even the bouncers. Wild. I nevre thought I would sit on the floor of a bar for 5 minutes... but somehow doing it with others made it ok! WEIRD...but ok!

The show ended up to tons and tons of cheering. By now Erin and Wayne are hammered like crazy. I can't comment on Tiff, she looked ok. Erin rushes the stage and steals the mega-metal spatula from the egg cooking incident and brings it back. The bartender momentarily confiscates it as a weapon and then Erin gets it back and it goes down my pants. We smuggled it out later... after autographs! Tom came back out and Erin got a beauty: sign "Tom Green, 1992" Too funny!

So just when we though the night was done, we poured into the street and Tiff and Wayne called a cab. Wayne got rambunctious and picked up Erin and through her down on the trunk of the cab and pretended to h*mp her! They were drunk... it happens (*grin*) Well, the cab driver freaked and hit the gas and narrowly missed (by less than 6 inches) hitting another cab...he had to slam on the brakes!!!! He comes out and freaks out on Wayne saying that Wayne broke is trunk mounted antenna. The magnet had indeed come off. So to placate the freaking cab driver Wayne agreed to go to the bank and pay off the guy $65. The next thing that happen was augured by the fact that Wayne gave Tiff his sandals and house keys, and refused to let her come with him to the bank in the cab. (Hmm.... what does this mean?!?) Fast forward 10 minutes. Wayne calls Tiff's cell from home. He had gone to the bank, bolted on the cab driver...ran over to Ontario street. Explained to another cab driver that he is in a bit of a "situation" and was wondering if he could give him a ride home for $15. The cabbie said "Sure". Voila...to easy! HILARIOUS. Wayne is officially crazy! I like that about him!

What's going to happen next time Tom Green comes to town? I can't imagine!

Postscript: Erin spent the entire next day half dead with a brutal hang over on the couch. She’ll never learn that you have to drink lots of water when you drink 10 beer! *grin*